andy that menapause thing is a real issue. my mom and grandma both went a little wacky during that time. it is a hard topic to discuss. i think if you keep on being supportive and open, she will come around. hanging out with kids and friends is not the same as a m/f relationship. so she is missing out. she may be just so busy now she doesn't feel it. she will. you will be there. she is really lucky. lisa
Yeah, and the perimenopause can be just as difficult and last for much longer!! I think that was a lot of what was happening to me. I started getting migraines out of the blue when I was around 38-39. I had no clue that they were migraines!! Took a while for me to start putting it all together. I'd get really frustrated and unhappy with everyone -- H and kids especially. I'd have daydreams of running away from all of them. Then my migraine would hit -- I'd be miserable for 2 days (didn't know about migraines or Imitrex at that time!!), my period would come; headache goes away; I love everyone again and all is right with the world.
Sorry if this is too much info, Andy Just thought it might help since you W doesn't seem to want to talk about this stuff (I didn't want to talk about it with my H either cuz then he'd think it WAS all my fault -- get it?).
Maybe you should keep track of her moods, see if there is any correlation to "that time of the month".
Bless you for talking in more detail about the Premenaperimenopause stuff. My wife is 38 and its not even a concept that I had thought of or had done any planning or studying about.
Way too much to respond to right now, but I'll get back to you.
Waaaaaaaaaaay back on my first thread (I think), I mentioned an episode wherein my W got an extreme burning sensation followed by a panic attack. Wintergirl told me that this was peri.
My W was way too young for peri at that time, but with all of the stresses she was under, it could have been.
I've done some homework myself, and from what I've read, perimenopause can be an horrible time. Actual menopause is a relief from it!
Anyway, all of this mixed in with MLC is a horrible experience for both of us.
Gotta go now. Time to head home.
Thanks for the info, all.
Eric,
I could tell you tonnes! There was a thread quite awhile ago where I was telling WOMEN about it. It was pretty wierd
Oh, lordy. I haven't read up on it, but I've got peri for sure. Migraine every month, on one side of my head only! Two days I can do NOTHING...it's awful.
I think it MUST be a plan to make menopause WELCOME.
Actually, I've done a tiny bit of reading, about diet, and I think a change in diet did help...now I'll have to stick to it long term and test the results.
Well, I don't want to set myself up as an authority. I haven't experienced peri from the "inside", and I'm no doctor.
But in a nutshell, perimenopause, or pre-menopause is a transitional stage of two to ten years before complete cessation of the menstrual period. Its average duration is six years, and can appear in women from 35 to 50 years of age. The symptoms are basically the same as PMS, with perhaps a few more thrown in, and they’re more constant. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that the physical and mood fluctuations are more constant and pronounced. A woman who’s had a tough time with PMS will likely have a rougher perimenopause than one who has had it relatively easy PMS-wise.
Like I said, I’m no expert, but I think I’ve been living through it (from the H perspective) for quite some time now, and I have done some research, so I will point anyone who's interested to some very good resources.
I think that one of the most important things to remember is that perimenopause/menopause is not a disease. I was loath to use the term “symptom”, but I can’t think of a better term. Perimenopause/menopause are a natural part of a woman’s development, and as such, are great opportunities for personal growth. Both for the woman, and for her SO.
But MAN! It’s hard! For both parties!
And I think it’s nature’s cruelest joke on humankind that this stage of a woman’s development coincides with the period of time when a man is most likely to go through one of his own... MLC!
Andy, just posted on my own thread about my pms mind, it can really make you think you are crazy sometimes. Those weeks are the days I assumed my h was having a, usually blew up at him, etc.. Then I read about taking calcium, and I do not feel quite as crazy, weepy. This past month I did not take it faithfully, and this week I am assuming and crying at the drop of a hat!!! I am 47, and work with 5 53 year olds!! Let me tell you, menopause scares the H*** out of me, yet they have a closed mind about it, so I am learning. Bye
Just thought it might help since you W doesn't seem to want to talk about this stuff (I didn't want to talk about it with my H either cuz then he'd think it WAS all my fault -- get it?). 
