mlc or infidelity? how can you tell the difference

[cat03]

he doesn't beleive in giving only one half of the party counseling

I'm sorry, but that sounds like an ignorant thing for him to say, specially coming from a pastor! You need a professional licenced councelor, there is a huge difference, trust me, my H and I did see a pastor at the beginning, then settled for a pastoral councelor, a christian councelor, best person we found, our insurance covered our visits.

As for the rude comment your H made about you and needing help, I would'nt bat an eye, people in your H's situation are know for pushing their spouses' buttons, to, again, confirm their erroneous choices (leaving home, having an op)

Keep your emails short and email only if you have to since he is having a prob w/that. I do hope somehow he understands mixing the kids in his mess isnt' good, that is a shame.

I wonder if it will be easier if H was living out of the home?

You mean easier on him to see the ow and do whatever, or easier on you so you don't deal w/his poor attitude? There is more of a chance to patch the M if the S doesn't leave, so I wouldn't think about kicking him out.

The book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is by Laura Schlessinger, another excellent book w/a christian persperctive is Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage by Gary Rosberg, I highly recommend both, wish someone would've given me those books before.