mlc or infidelity? how can you tell the difference

[cat03]

oh dear, I cannot begin to tell you your decisions weren't the greatest lately. Granted, we all come to this place not knowing what to do, but jeez, you ratted him out to his boss? is that going to bring him back?

It was a spineless an awful thing for him to go out w/the girls and that woman, I'll give you that. I can understand how angry that could make you, but you are making things worse by involving others, specially the children! for crying out loud, do you have any idea what you have done by saying H doesn'tlove you anymore to your d??? please! don't anymore!!
There was no need for that, all you had to say is that you guys were having some issues to deal with and that daddy needed time alone, my 8yr old was fine w/that, I didn't have to tell him "son, your dad cleaned out bank acc., wants to divorce me and has a new place". I was able to have my son protected from the ugliness of my H's desicions, my son only had me to count on, and I was not going to unload on him.

Do not involve anyone else and don't talk to his coworkers anymore, unless you want to push your H to ow's arms further. Yes, I'd be angry too, but please, think very well what your actions will create, by shoving when he pushes you are giving him a reason to do what he is doing, he is pushing your buttons, dont' let him.

Read the Praying book again, I dont' think you get it, you cant make him do anything right now, he is still at home right? you have that, at least for now unless you do another thing out of anger.
Reread the DR book, there is a lot you need to think about, you are very hurt and it is understandable, but remember, he is the foolish one and is prob going to do a few other stupid things.

I want you to read "the proper care and feeding of husbands", it will give you insights of what women, me included, do to alianate our Hs.I've learned very valuable lessons, granted, the hard way.

Agree w/him that for now you both need time and space, and let him know in a nice, calm manner that some boundaries need to be set, no more outings w/the ow. No yelling, no anger, as much as you want to bite his head off, don't do it.