Well, W came home tonight and did NOT mention anything to do with the last 24 hours dealing with my Dad's illness. No questions like "How's Dad" or "you must be tired", NOTHING! I had called her late afternoon to let her know the developments and she thanked me for calling but that's it. How bizarre. Would it not seem appropriate to even make slight small talk about what happened even for a minute or two? It's like she wants to make sure that I realize how insignificant my life is in her eyes. In the past few years I would bring up an event to share with her and her response would be to brush it off with some disinterested comment. I know she also has issues around times when she is "expected" to show caring or support. Put that together with whatever her personal work obsession is for the day and you have the makings of another evening of distance. Well, fine with me. Next D12 came and asked if she could go with girlfriends to the park tomorrow, this is a first time request. I stupidly said "I don't have a big problem with it unless your mother does" (Next time I say "your mother and I will discuss it and let you know") Of course W says "If your father has no problem with it then I guess it's OK otherwise I will be the bad guy and you hate me enough as it is" (Yes, another totally inappropriate comment from the W!) I said "if you are not comfortable with it then neither am I" and D said "Oh, so I guess that means NO". I replied "I think it would be wise on your part to ask your mom what her concerns are and then discuss what you can do to reassure her" (again, I should have said "us") That at least seemed to calm things allowing for the semblence of a discussion to take place. I informed D that a trip to the park should not be construed as permission to hang out in the park on a regular basis. Now, W just loves to provoke me with these snarky remarks like "I guess I'll be the bad guy" when I'm tired and after 2 hours sleep in 34 hours, I was tired. I chose not to respond, she can take it for what she wants. What is the problem with saying something polite like "Whatis I would prefer in future that we discuss D's requests together before giving an answer?" I would say "you are absolutely right!" but instead she has to act like the poor mistreated W and mother. I guess it fits with her world view. Oh, woe is her!!! I've noticed this before that when I've had a traumatic event e.g. when I was diagnosed with Diabetes (which I beat, btw) she becomes angry and snarky with me at a time when some support and caring would be appropriate. She resents me having basic human needs. So basically all is normal at the Whatis residence
