Well, ole Whatis kind of messed up today, but tough nuggies! I rolled over this morning and had this strong urge to hold her and ML to her. I tried, I failed, I cried. I told her that I still loved her and needed her. No repsonse, not that I expected one. I then turned away to my side of the bed and pulled myself together, then nodded off. When I awoke, W had left our bed and there was a box of tissue beside the bed. Oh, well at least that was a caring gesture! Dumb? Un DB? Probably, but I honestly don't think it is so bad for her to see the pain her actions are causing once in a while. I am so good at carrying on and keeping my spirits up, that she doesn't have that impetus to really look at what she is doing to me, our M and our family. Will this make any dif? Probably not. Will she go away with OP, yes. Once more, I have to recognize (and it's so damn hard) that our M is dead even though the shell lives on. It is really hard when your day to day life says "H and W", you sleep in the same bed, you visit friends as a couple and a family,... you know the rest. I just don't know whether I can detach emotionally enough to give her the complete freedom she needs. I try but I 'm not sure it's working if I'm still having these overwhelming urges and feelings. Anyway, she has been quite pleasant and we carry on as usual today! Weird, weird, weird. She came from a family where dad carried on an A for 20 years with the same woman and never left the mom. Mom knew, stayed and made everyone's life Hell trying to get back at Dad. THAT will not happen here. I told her once in an argument, "you can be your Dad if you want, I refuse to be your Mom". Anyway, catch you later DBers. I guess if this is the worst backslide I can do, life isn't that bad
It's amazing how our close family's craziness can screw our own Ms!, a 20yr A, that's is just awful, though, come to think of it, GASP! my own mom is into that sort of mess (not w/my dad though), it's going on, for about 18yrs, she is the OP... wow, never thougth about it that way..
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I'm so happy you gave her the frog...humor is so very, very important.
Well, you tried to ML, she isn't ready yet...hey, I'm not ready with my XH either. Let her go on her trip and then start seeing what happens when she returns.
Here's a good one! W turns to me tonight and says "you do know that I'm taking off for a few days, right?" Is she serious! Gee, I hadn't really thought about it dear, I've been too busy picking the lint out of my navel! WTF, how could I not know? She says "I'm taking off for a few days", NO you are commiting adultery, a slight difference. So, yes tomorrow W is off with OP for her an exciting little lesbofest getaway (me, bitter? Never ) . I've invited a woman friend and her kids to come over Friday night (yes, W knows). We get along really well and she knows the sitch, her kids get along well with mine. It'll be fun. Tomorrow night, we'll see. I know the reality is that my W can get it on with this person any time she wants and although I doubt they are (no real opportunity that I'm aware of) it's likely they will be. I must keep that out of my head, I must let go! Today we had a very nice day. We played a board game with youngest D , dropped her for her training and then had lunch and went to a movie together. I suggested the lunch and the movie to W and she replied "I was just going to suggest that to you". We both had the same movie in mind. So, that's where today stands. I love it , "taking off for a few days", give me a break! On the bright side, she did tell me she was getting sick! Sorry, I'm going to revel in that one anyway
It will be interesting to see her persona when she comes back...either it will be good or bad...you just have to wait and see. No, I don't think she has gone full throttle with Auntie either - let's hope not on the trip...being catered to and sleeping with her are two different issues.
1210, I have reasons to believe the sexual aspect has not been fully explored here. They seem to think they are on a higher plane than the rest of us! I once told her that the thought of her and OP "together" made me sick to my stomach and she looked at me and emphatically stated "we aren't doing that!" They aren't screwing each other? How sick is that, I ask you But, that's the male mind, I guess. OP is like a friggin servant so if my W says "I've got a headache tonight" she'll rush out to get the aspirin! Geez, these two twits deserve each other! At least my kids are sane (well, if you put aside that rush to be a teen on the oldest one's part). Thanks for checking in, and, I too am sorry about Cheddie. Take care of yourself.
Well, W just left for her little adulterous adventure with OP. I tried not to be hostile when she left but when she called a "goodbye, I'm leaving now" I just sat in the other room and said "bye" and continued looking through my cell phone manual. No hug, no "safe trip" that's all I could do. The thought of her being intimate with OP flashed through my mind and a horrible feeling just washed over me. But, now I must work towards making the next two days good for me and my kids. This time I will not obsessively write her ultimatum letters (that's bad for PMA!) or sit around imagining things that are emotionally upsetting. As I said previously, I've arranged for company tomorrow night and tonight, we'll see. I am in charge of my emotions, it's up to me to take care of me, it's not her job and never really was. I just can't for the life of me imagine how she could possibly see this as acceptable! It boggles my mind, if she wants a new R and a new life then have the guts to move out and do it and let me get on with my healing! Oops, a little slip there already. Oh well, it takes practise. I'll probably come back later tonight to cry on the many shoulders out there that I know are there for me. Thanks folks. Wow, do I hate her at this moment.
Let it go brother. I know it is hard to do but you not control what she is doing on her little trip just as I can not control my W's childish actions. However, we can control how it is affecting us and neither one of us are do a very good job at it right now. Focus on your kids and let them bring you a little bit of happiness the next couple of days. Find somthing to keep your mind off of it. I know you already know this but you anger is just an emotion and emotions are just that. They come and they go....SOUND FAMILIAR?
Chin up brother, O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Good for YOU !
, "taking off for a few days", give me a break! On the bright side, she did tell me she was getting sick! Sorry, I'm going to revel in that one anyway