Thanks 1210 and BI, We just came home from shopping and the girls asked Mom if they could open gifts from "Auntie" now (they do this every year) I went straight to the kitchen and made lunch (pancakes 1210!). What makes all this even more confusing is that Auntie has sent gifts every year for the past 5 years and kids do look forwrd to it. This year, of course, I am pretty damn sensitive to it. Here's the woman who is assisting in the destruction of my family sending the young victims gifts! What a f'ing joke!!! So I am staying clear of the gifts, if D's want to show me I will say "that's really nice" etc. but that is it. We are still planning to go to dinner tonight, it's a buffet so we can each get what we want (kids like Mango Salad!). I'm the only one who has ever been there so its new to W and kids. So, tomorrow if she opens gifts from OP in front of me I will probably just ignore it and realize where it is coming from. I will take pride in my behaviour and keep trying to make this a great Xmas for the kids. Btw, there was no "Happy Anniversary" said by either of us today. W rolled in about 3:00 am last night and by the time she woke up I'd already gone out to buy goodies for tomorrow (going to my parents) and get some furnace filters. This is the first Xmas with the A out of the bag. It is tough but rest assured 1210 I won't do anything drastic, I'm still here trying to save my M and family. I will book the counselling appointment ASAP. I am usually quite in control of my emotions and PMA pretty good, but sometimes certain things just trigger a meltdown (and that's OK too). I will overcome! Thanks again everyone, have a great Christmas.
