1210, I just finished tucking in the girls. They are so amazing, just covering me with hugs and kisses and too many I love you's to count! They remind me why I'm still here. Now, in hindsight, I don't think W will open those gifts in front of us. Last year she just left them in the bag, as she had opened them the night before. I trust she will do so again. I was feeling somewhat panicky there so I hope my fear won't become reality. Last year I did not know her and OP were having an A, they were still friends in my books. This year is different though. So, if W does think it appropriate to open those gifts in front of me I will definately tell her, probably in the evening after kids retire, that it was insensitive and inappropriate. I doubt she will, she's always trying to hide anything to do with their little A. I guess that keeps it fun! I just can't fathom how she thinks we can just live this way endlessly? In every way, except one, we appear to be a loving couple. No one would ever guess! It's so damn confusing sometimes. I've tried hard to make myself a better person (and will always be glad of that for ME!) and shown a willingness to work on things but she is to caught up in being babied by this sad excuse for a caring human being. This woman lives with her parents and siblings and my W, the married mother of two, goes to her house to spend time with her. Her parents, of course, were not thrilled to find out their D was having a gay R, yet despite all this allow this crap to go on in their own home!!! What kind of people are they? Sometimes I really do think it's time to put the boots to her (not literally of course), it's time to pull the plug on both their little fantasy worlds. Again, what stops me is putting my kids through that kind of Hell. So, my choice is to either to bail or suck it up for my kids. I will be most interested in what the SF Counsellor has to say. I still plan to definately make an appointment in the new year cuz it's getting time to shake things up a little. I've tried the nice, caring, GAL stuff...it isn't working. Maybe its time to do somethings that may not be comfortable but may be better choices. My fantasy is to put it to W this way: You have one month to decide where you want your life to go. You can choose to work on our R and keep our family together or choose OP and all the sh!t that will go with that. Our family will be split up, neither of us will be able to tuck the kids in every night, the house will be sold and you will be completely responsible for your own life. The choice is yours, let me know. If I don't hear from you then I will make the choice for you." That fantasy is being considered much more frequently these days. But, yes, I will overcome! I've beat alcoholism, I've beat diabetes, I will beat this too. Thanks for the hugs 1210, they were sorely needed.
