I had an interesting family meeting today with D12 and W (youngest was excluded as issues did not include her). W told D12 that "your Dad has been really trying to be patient and work with you, I have not been doing so well" This little get together was due to a falling out I had with D12 this morning. I left angrily for Church and half way there decided I did not want to leave things that way and came home. W actually suggested the meeting. It went really well and all the bad feelings turned to better feelings. I told D that I will try not to make angry decisions re consequences, but think first. W said "your father is actually much better at that than I am" and I asked D to be honest with me if my responses/attitude etc causes problems between us, I said I was open to looking at my part in any difficulties and would appreciate it if she would try to be honest. W said to D "I would like you to do the same with me, but just realize that I do not handle criticism very well and may get angry but I always will think about what you've said. I'll do my best here" Hey, it's not a complete turn around but at least W has said, in front of all of us, that she recognizes what has been happening. Her acknowledgement of my contribution to the good of our childrearing was appreciated. D12 also came up with a plan to change her part in the current unrest! On my way to church that morning I was thinking "how much sh!t can I put up with. I've got my W fooling around on me, my D's a pain in the @ss, it's Xmas bedlam, and I'm still feeling sick!" That's called re-framing in a bad way! I decided I needed to go home and straighten out what I could straighten out. W asked why I had come home and I said "I left angrily and I do not like to do that, so I came back to deal with things". So everybody seems happy with the results of our meeting...for today
