HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Hi BND thanks for reading through my post!

What are you doing to keep yourself busy?
It just seems like your whole life is centered around what your Husband is doing and maybe if you had a hobby or an outlet, it might take some of the pressure off of him.

Yeah, I know it seems a bit like that from my posts but I think that is because I tend to just journal on here/vent about what is going on with H rather than the other stuff I'm doing which makes me happy! I am very busy during the day and the evenings. My problem is that being busy doesn't stop me wanting to kiss or ML with H when he is lying there next to me going to sleep. I kind of think maybe I should stay up until he's gone to sleep to make it easier on myself but then I think I'll be sending him wrong signals. I don't know what the answer is - well - I know LOTS of patience - but patience doesn't stop me needing physical contact.

What many women do NOT understand, is that sex is not just a physical thing to men, it is also an emotional experience, much like it is for a woman.
They can't just turn themselves on if their head isn't right.

I do get this mostly, however, when you first start dating a guy and "things" happen they are not generally madly in love with you at that time yet they are certainly up for it so this conflicts a little I think.

Right now he has to set the pace. Too much pressure will turn him off. When he is ready to resume intimacy again, you really will be the first to know!

H has said I will be first to know too. I know I'm terrible - I just want to know everything will be OK. If I knew we would eventually be intimate again I would feel better. I'm just so worried he won't ever feel like that about me and then mine and my S's heart will be broken all over again and possibly worse than before after living together in a happy home rather than constant arguing.

(,making me feel like a good puppy)

that's how I feel right now with what I'm getting from H. Feels kind of patronising not loving.

It took 2 years to get to the point I am at.
And he still is not home yet.

Wow you must have such amazing strength to have held on that long.