Why does the happiness from a baby step not last very long? I feel so unloved today. I spent last night fixing a pocket in H's new jacket that had torn. It took over an hour and when he tried it on he was so rough with it that it ripped again and although he was joking all he did was be sarcastic that I hadn't done it well enough - not a single thank you for doing it in the first place. I went to sleep feeling very low. H stayed up and came to bed after I was asleep. This morning I let him lie in and made him breakfast when he got up and sandwiches for his lunch at work. He said he felt lazy as I seemed to be doing so much compared to prebomb. I said that was how it was meant to be because he went out to work and my job was to do all the things around the house. He said he thought it was lovely but felt a little guilty that he was doing nothing. He got ready for work and kissed S goodbye. He was about to go and then gave me a really begrudging kiss on the head and went. I just want to burst into tears. I am doing so much to show my love for him and none of it is melting his heart or whatever it is he needs to happen inside to want to kiss me and love me. I kind of wish now that he'd move back into the spare room until he is ready to ML because I'm really not liking him sleeping next to me so close when he is obviously miles away from me in his head. I know I probably sound like I'm never satisfied its just that everything I seem to wish for and get turns out to just hurt even more.


Me 34 H 33 S2 Together 10yrs Married 6yrs Bomb 12th Aug 06