HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Your h wont be with you tonight because he will be at work..he gave you a reassuring kiss before he left...he said he'd call at midnight AND he said he'd have a new years drink with you when he gets in.

I think that's a whole lot of possitives!! don't bury your head..be happy that a new year is starting and you have a h who is at least attempting to make you feel secure despite obsticals like having to be at work and not with you at midnight.

You are right LL - I should look at all those positives and be pleased with my progress. Happy New Year to you too.

Well I think there have been a load more positives today/last night too. H texted me Happy New Year at 11:45pm saying that he sent it early so it got through in time to miss the phone jam at midnight. Thought this was very sweet and thoughtful - he obviously wanted to make sure I didn't get upset about not hearing from him until 12:30 or something. Unfortunately he finished much later than planned but rang to let me know. I fell asleep on the sofa waiting up for him as I'd said I'd fix him some food when he got home. He said it didn't matter as it was far too late so we just both went to bed. I'd got a little dressed up even though I was sat on my own just to get me in a New Years Eve spirit and he told me I looked really nice!

Today he was sat at the computer and asked me to come look at something. I sat on the floor near him and took hold of his hand for a while and he didn't pull away or say it made him uncomfortable. Yay!!

We have had lots of playful moments today and when H was getting ready for the work we had quite a lot of inuindo and banter flying about while he was in the shower. Surely that must be a good sign. Before that he said I'd made him a little uncomfortable when I stroked his arm but that he hadn't said anything. I said its OK to say something and he said "why would I want to upset you that would be stupid". I thanked him for that and apologised for making him uncomfortable.

Before he went to work he was holding S and came over to me and gave me a really big squeeze and had a really big smile on his face. When he left he kissed my cheek. Now I know I tend to read too much into everything but my cheek!! That's nearer my mouth than my forehead isn't it! I think these must all be good signs that he is maybe feeling a little more comfortable with intimacy issues and maybe warming to me a little in that department. Some of the inuindo's were started by him.

Also he wants us to go to the cinema this week to see the film we tried to see last week - so he is suggesting more things to do together and he even mentioned going to see a film that he thinks comes out in February - kind of long term(ish) thinking from him too!!!!

I think what I need to do now is throw a bucket of cold water over myself and try to dampen my ardour for a bit to not overdo it. He seemed so happy today and it is the first day since boxind day that he's really been home for the day.

Oh on another positive note my Dad replied to my New Years text saying he hoped 2007 would be better for us both (ie me and H) which is good as it maybe means he's not feeling quite so annoyed with H?