HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

remember when you first met your h, how much different did you treat him and act around him then than you do now? some of the differences are good, they point to a maturing relationship, but some of them, at least in my case, are a result of forgetting and getting lazy and complacent. We tend to treat those closest to us the worst in terms of general consideration and being nicey nice, you know what I mean

I do know what you mean and I was very guilty of this before the bomb. Now I am treating him just like I treat him when we met (except I can't kiss him) I'm treating him like he is special and I adore him - maybe too much actually.

I have a hard time understanding the whole lack of affection thing too, but I just have to accept that he isn't there yet, and I have to be patient, because I want it to be real, and I want it to come from him, not be given to pacify me, does that make sense.

Yes it makes perfect sense. I want any affection my H gives me to come from him too. I know exactly what you mean. I don't understand why he has moved back in anymore. I thought it was because he wanted us to be back together but wasn't ready to be intimate. Now I don't know why because some things he says sound like he thinks of us as back together and other things he says sound like he isn't even definitely staying. The other day he said he isn't being intimate because its wrong until he decides he's staying and now today he says he can't say he's staying until he feels he can be intimate with me??

hang in there, it is still okay to cry you know, it is still okay to have bad days and to feel like you can't cope. it is okay to be angry and hurt and scared and all those other emotions we felt in the beginning, they are still running around, for me less and less, but they are still around. we just have to acknowledge them, feel them, and then put on our big girl panties and deal.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on. My support network has vanished into thin air since H moved back in. Its like they all think I must be OK now even though I've told them he's only "seeing how things go" and we're not back together.

life will go on, we can choose to make it happy for ourselves. we still have power and choices, even when it feels like it is all on their terms, we still have choices.

I don't like either of my choices. The first is tell him I don't want this anymore (hate that choice) the second is be patient and see what happens now he's moved back (this one would be great if it had a happy ending but is complete agony while waiting to find out) H keeps telling me to calm down and not stress about it. This makes me think he wants to work things out and be back together.