HELP!!! H now wants to try

[cat03]

He knows I've wanted him back all this time

Funny you said this. H and i were talking and I was asking him why (when he was away) he needed so bad to go out w/his friends to find comfort when all along he knew I wanted him back. Do you know what he said? "I didnt' believe you really wanted me back, I thought you were mad that I left you"



I ALWAYS acted friendly around him, was his listening ear when he needed one, yet, he had those thoughts. Why? because the MLC and depression warped his mind and didn't let him see things clearly.

So that's why your H doesnt' feel safe yet, in your eyes you can't come up w/one reason why he can't just be nice and conect w/you. But your H has other issues you dont' know of, and he isnt' about to tell you point by point what eats him. He will open up on his own time, he knows he's hurt you and that you are hurt.

I might change back to how I was and we might start arguing all the time again??? Does he need time to see that how it is now is how it will stay?

Maybe, I do now for sure the reasons above where why my H didn't come home sooner, he just didnt' think we could streighten things up. Remember, for now at least, all he has is the past and how ugly it was.

He agreed and is taking me to the cinema Thurs or Fri to make up for it.

Those are baby steps from HIM towards you

Here, a couple of calming thoughts when the hysterical part of your brain wants to take over, straight from my fav posts:

You are breeding negativity.
STOP IT.
Can you just allow yourself to dare to think something GOOD about your husband?
Of course the man is not "happy"!
He is thinking of how long it's going to take to get back into your good graces, how long until you stop expecting the worst from him, how long until you have faith that he will do something other than screw up, how long til you will really love him again and the two of you can truly be a healed family.
HOW can he EVER believe in HIMSELF when NO ONE BELIEVES IN HIM??
It's your move.
The man needs a wife that is going to stand behind him and lift him up when the rest of the world pisses on him.
A wife that believes in him although at times he doubts himself.
He needs someone to give him a chance.

If he screws it up, you have the option of filing for divorce.
But as sure as WE all screw up and Jesus forgives US, we need to forgive those that hurt us and need another chance.
It's up to you.
Fear or faith?
Which one are you gonna feed tonight?
I don't give a rat's ass about history or odds or statistics.
WHAT IF WHATEVER HAPPENS IS SOLELY DETERMINED BY YOUR ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES?
What if.....?