HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Thank you Cat for taking the time to break my points down and answer them it is very good of you.

Is your sitch normal right now? nope, so dont' expect to be back where you left off before he walked away. I just posted to another on this board about how the WAH doesn't feel safe yet, he can't open up yet thus the affection feelings aren't quite there yet.

I can see I shouldn't be expecting things to be back to normal and that H doesn't feel safe. I suppose I'm looking at it all from my own point of view not his. I feel completely unsafe - extremely insecure. For me to feel safe and secure about all this I would need him to sleep in my bed (just sleep nothing else) and want to kiss me. I guess I just don't understand what it is he needs to feel safe. Well actually I don't understand why he doesn't feel safe. He knows I've wanted him back all this time, he knows I love him and he knows he's got me hanging on a thread and will let him do whatever he wants or he'll leave. That seems to me to be a very strong safe position to be in like he's got everything he wants. Is it that he doesn't feel safe that I might change back to how I was and we might start arguing all the time again??? Does he need time to see that how it is now is how it will stay??

Is your sitch normal right now? nope, so dont' expect to be back where you left off before he walked away. I just posted to another on this board about how the WAH doesn't feel safe yet, he can't open up yet thus the affection feelings aren't quite there yet.

you made me laugh! No it isn't attractive at all. I think I am being the pretty self he fell in love with just maybe not quite as confident. Trouble is I get my confidence with H from knowing he wants me and finds me attractive - now I look in the mirror and feel confident that I look great but then get no confirmation of it from anyone so then doubt that I do. We are having lots of banter together which is exactly how we were in the beginning so I suppose it is a start.

I wouldn't want a forced hug, I know how they feel like, mechanic and dry, you don't want those either, let him walk to you, don't yank his arm your way.

He does seem to be hugging me willingly at the moment now. He apologised to me last night for being out of order (obviously it was boxing day and he "popped" to see his friend across the road which I didn't have a problem with and we were supposed to be having dinner and watching a film when he got back - he didn't come back until bed time) He gave me lots of hugs of his own accord and said sorry and we had a great chat about why it wasn't fair (initiated by him) The old me would have gone crazy shouting about it but he said he hadn't been fair had he and simply said that IMH a fair way of spending the evening would have been me being fair by being OK about him going to see his friend and him being fair by sticking to his word and coming home when he said. He agreed and is taking me to the cinema Thurs or Fri to make up for it. I think this sitch could have been a major stumbling block if I'd acted how I used to and I think he was impressed how I handled it

I really need to try and find some calm thoughts from somewhere I feel like I'm getting hysterical inside and its going to spill out and boil over soon. It doesn't help that all the activities I have been doing to GAL have stopped for two weeks round Christmas.