HELP!!! H now wants to try

[cat03]

to me it isn't normal to be married and get on great and find each other attractive but not kiss or cuddle or ML

Is your sitch normal right now? nope, so dont' expect to be back where you left off before he walked away. I just posted to another on this board about how the WAH doesn't feel safe yet, he can't open up yet thus the affection feelings aren't quite there yet.

its inside his head that's stopping him kissing me (or anything else)

He needs to sort HIMself first, there is a lot turmoil on the WAS when they leave, until they find themselves out they are not in shape to give much. I know this is not what you were expecting, but that's how piecing begins, it's slow, it's painful, but just like a wound, it needs time to heal.
Picture yourself hanging on his neck and sobbing "love me now!", does that seem very attractive?
Focus on yourself, make yourself happy, we can't put all the responsibility on our Ss to make us happy, it is a mistake to expect the other S to fulfill us. What did your H like from you? find that confident pretty self he fell in love with. It will still hurt not to ML, I know I hurt when my H didnt' want to ML, but I tried to remember that he was w/me, I'd read a few good books about men and R to fill my mind w/positive ideas.

He can't even "force" himself to hug me or take the first steps towards anything like this and it seems to be the only area missing for him. I suppose I stupidly thought the pain would go away if he moved back in. I feel so anxious that he's here for Christmas and a car and then he'll be off because what is he really doing to try to make it all OK again?

I wouldn't want a forced hug, I know how they feel like, mechanic and dry, you don't want those either, let him walk to you, don't yank his arm your way.
I also thought for many months my H was back that all he wanted is to get rid of his debt (the one he incurred while in MLC and A) and that after all was paid off he'd take off. Fear will cripple you, fight it, when negative thoughts assault you, fight them w/good thoughts, that which you feed most will be the strongest.
The more negative thoughts you dwell on, the more gloom the sitch will seemed to you, the more sad and upset you'll be around him, the more unsafe your H will feel.