HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Hi Cat

I've had quite a few tearfuc convos w/my H in the past about this, that he was never affectionate w/me, no hugs, no kisses, no ILY, it tore me appart.
Each time he'd always ask me to be patient, to understand that he was still not himself and that to please don't rush him, that we had time.

I haven't said anything to H about how I'm feeling as I daren't rock the boat. H talks about the future financially as though we are back together for good but sleeps in the spare room and hasn't moved his things back in. I know its very early days but with him doing nothing but talking about (and looking for) a major financialy commitment like a new car I feel like I'm being pushed along with things he wants but I can't push him along with the things I want.

I don't think he will let me hold his hand. Before he agreed to go on our "date" a week and a half ago he said one of the reasons he wasn't sure was that I'd want him to hold my hand and he wouldn't want to. As for the CD I think it is maybe for me (or H is a bigger liar than I ever thought possible). He knew I'd seen the bag so I brought it up that I'd seen it and was worried he'd got me what I wanted to get him and he joked about it for ten minutes or more playfully about what it was. Surely he wouldn't be brazen enough to do so if it was for the W he was texting.

I could've written that a few months ago. He is doing nothing because you are not asking him to and he thinks you are getting along just fine. It's an old vicious circle between men and women, for a thourough explanation please read the mars-venus book. Men wont' (most of them) help unless you aske them too, if you load yourself w/all the chores and dont' say

I know what you mean here, its just that my H used to do an awful lot of chores without being asked pre bomb - too many if I'm honest. Its probably just that it is one of the areas I'm really trying hard on and I just really feel that he's not trying hard at all. He can't even "force" himself to hug me or take the first steps towards anything like this and it seems to be the only area missing for him. I suppose I stupidly thought the pain would go away if he moved back in. I feel so anxious that he's here for Christmas and a car and then he'll be off because what is he really doing to try to make it all OK again?? He's sleeping in the spare room - that's the only thing that's changed from being separated. Sorry everyone - I must sound really ungrateful - I'm not - honestly. Is it OK to talk about R a little now or should I still be doing LRT?