HELP!!! H now wants to try

[cat03]

I've had quite a few tearfuc convos w/my H in the past about this, that he was never affectionate w/me, no hugs, no kisses, no ILY, it tore me appart.
Each time he'd always ask me to be patient, to understand that he was still not himself and that to please don't rush him, that we had time.

The more desperate you seem the more he will recoil, so take a step back ok? let him begin to feel confortable around him. Would he let you hold his hand now? have you tried for a brief time to do so? that how it starts.
You are not thinking about the CD right? you are worrying to much, I'd worry if I see a nightie or something, a cD could be for a friend, anyone, don't give the ow so much power over you.

I'm busting a gut doing all the chores and everything the way he likes it and not complaining that he has basically done nothing in his free time but sit at the computer looking for a car. I feel like I am getting nothing in return at all

I could've written that a few months ago. He is doing nothing because you are not asking him to and he thinks you are getting along just fine. It's an old vicious circle between men and women, for a thourough explanation please read the mars-venus book. Men wont' (most of them) help unless you aske them too, if you load yourself w/all the chores and dont' say peep your H thinks that's what you want to do.

Nope, dont' expect him to help because he "should "see you need help. Ask nicely and he'll help you. Little by little my H has come around, he used to groan a little when I asked him to vacuum, wash dishes or put one of the kids to bed. Now, WOW!!! he vacuums without a peep when I ask him NICELY, he wants to read a bedtime story to the kids, and does a few things without me asking.
Now remember, he's been home since April, and it took this long for him to be like this. Why the change? becuase I've also altered my attitude, asked when I needed help, alway thanked him and make him feel appreciate it.

Don't let resentment build up, ask for help, ei "honey, could you do such and such?" I bet he does it.