HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Thanks poised I need as many people pulling for me as I can get!!

This is sooooo tough. I thought the last four months was hard being separated but this is a million times harder. Its like I'm so close but still so far away and I don't even know if he'll ever feel the way he should about me ever again. I'm finding it hard to be in the same room as him because I just want to hug him. He told S he loved him and gave him a kiss this afternoon and it nearly ripped me in two because I want him to kiss me and say those words. I'm not sure I can handle months of no contact whatsoever. I suffer with terrible neck and shoulder pain on and off regularly and its really bad today and he actually gave my shoulders a quick massage which I suppose is another step in the right direction that he actually touched me. When he leaves for work it seems really awkward because he starts to look embarrassed as though he knows he should be kissing me goodbye but doesn't want to so he feels awkward or something. I'm busting a gut doing all the chores and everything the way he likes it and not complaining that he has basically done nothing in his free time but sit at the computer looking for a car. I feel like I am getting nothing in return at all. I know he probably thinks he's trying really hard just by being here but it doesn't seem like he's doing anything to me. I'm so worried about how we are going to get from here to how it should be. I already want to do all the things a W should. How long will it take for him to want to do all those things too.