HELP!!! H now wants to try

[inpain_dup1]

Forgot to say also yesterday H said he didn't know how long it would take. I think this was another baby step as he didn't say he didn't think it would work just that he didn't know how long it would take to work.

Be as patient as possible and try to change your thoughts away from insecurity. Knowing he's trying is a powerful motivator to stay positive.

Thanks poised. I know that is probably the key to success. I am really struggling today. I have snooped and am now creating a million and one ideas in my head. Firstly let me say I didn't snoop because I thought there was anything to snoop for. I snooped because yesterday H separated in town to buy me some Christmas presents. Then we bumped into each other and I saw he had a bag from a record store and he said see I can't hide what I get you because you see the bags anyway. This made me think he had got me the same thing I was thinking of getting him so while he was asleep today I peeked in the bag. I thought it might be a DVD we both love that I am going to get him but it was a CD of a band I don't like. This has now made me think that H has lied for the last four months about the W from work he has been texting and that he has been and still is seeing her and that this CD is for her for Christmas. I feel sick at the thought, I feel sick that I peeked (even though it was honestly with good intentions and who doesn't peek at Christmast presents!?) and I feel sick that there is no way of finding out if my thoughts are stupid or correct. My sane head says that I'm being irrational and he's probably got it for me because he thinks a song I like is by them and to wait until Christmas to see but I have a big nagging voice in my head saying that on Christmas day I'm not going to receive this gift and everything is going to come crashing down around my ears when I say I've peeked at it and if I haven't got it who has.

I just want to cry. After only six days I don't feel like I can do this. This is worse than when he didn't live here and was adamant it was over. I feel insecure beyond belief. We were chatting about his night out last night (this W was there) and my face slipped for a milli-second when he said her name and he said that if I thought that something was going on with her there was no point doing any of this. I apologised and he said it was OK I didn't have to. I'm so scared I am being a fool to believe him that nothing has ever happened.

Is this normal?? I feel like I'm going backwards here.