180+180 = 360

[Jamesjohn]

"Whenever I tell her of my hurt (and I've avoided it because of this), she tells me that it's my problem (that I'm hurt)"

Have you ever tried to start out with, "Honey, I know that this is my problem, and that I need to deal with it. I feel hurt because .....". Explain what's going on in your head and heart, in a way where she doesn't need to defend herself (and don't give her the chance to if she tries). Lots of "I" stuff, no "you" stuff. Then, again, at the end, "Honey, I know that this is my problem, and that I need to deal with it."

She's going to have to come up with a different response to you, since you already used her "typical" response at both the beginning and end of your "talk". Note that I said "talk". It doesn't need to be a "conversation".

I did something like this a couple of times, and it worked. My wife followed my example and opened up to me after a few times of me doing this.

Would this qualify as something different?