If your H says he feels emotionally connected to you, then sex is not about freedom.
Like I said, my W felt disconnected from me at a time when I felt an incredible bond with her during sex.
That bubble's been burst. I try to feel it whenever we make love, but it's difficult when I know that she wouldn't miss it if we never did it again, or that I may as well be Brad Pitt or the Pope.
Whatever you do, don't tell your H that you feel disconnected. Just work at feeling the connection yourself. I know you can get it back, but it will be even more difficult if you throw a spanner into his feelings of connectedness.
Mattie,
I just remembered another recurring theme whenever I try to have an heart-to-heart. Whenever I tell her of my hurt (and I've avoided it because of this), she tells me that it's my problem (that I'm hurt) or that her lack of libido is her problem. I'm always trying to make "couple" problems out of personal issues. She also points out there were times when I've rejected her.
She's had hormone tests, but hasn't asked for the results yet. She's gotten a referral to a C, but the paper is still sitting on the counter.
It could mean that she's feeling better about OR, and doesn't feel the need anymore. Or, it could be that it's simply not important to her. Dunno.
