Years ago when my kids were much younger I was pretty much in the same place your W is right now. I stayed at home with my kids (3 boys) and ran a business from home also. At one point I even managed going to school for a while. I am a person who needs ALONE time. I wasn't getting any. And, no, I really didn't want time alone with my H. I really wanted to be alone.
It took a few years for my H to understand that I needed a bit of time by myself. Finally, it was arranged that on Saturday mornings I'd take off for a couple of hours -- get a cup of coffee and window shop, usually. At that stage of our M we rarely had "couple time" -- much to my H's great dissatisfaction. At that point I really didn't care that he was unhappy about our lack of togetherness. You see, he worked out of town a lot, so I resented the fact that he was going out to dinner, wandering around malls in the evening, reading a book uninterrupted, etc. all while I was carrying the full burden at home. Then when it came for the weekend and he wanted "us" to be alone together, he expected me to find the babysitter and make all the arrangments. No thanks. I just wanted to enjoy some of the same things he was experiencing -- being alone.
Honestly, Andy, it took many, many years for me to get to the point of wanting to be a couple with my H again. Ironically, I had just reached that stage as he was deciding to engage in a PA.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is to not give up hope for the future. I believe there will come a time in your W's life where she will realize what she's missing out on and she will want to reconnect with you.
