I see what you’re saying, KAW. But at the risk of sounding like a newbie, how do you define “a period of time”? You said that it took three months for your W to spend time with you and D regularly, and another ½ year until she admitted enjoying it.
I hate to keep saying it, but two years after starting to “give her space”, my W still won’t join me – whether I be alone, with someone else, or with the kids.
Quoting KAW: My point here Andy, is at first she may take it as an oppurtunity to go her own way, but if you provide a period of time for a lighter, upbeat family environment different from the daily grind, then in time she will be drawn towards it as a safe haven in which she could enjoy time with her family (including you) and if you are the source of enjoyable family time, then she may be drawn to you as well.
You also have to remember that my W is a stay-at-home mom. Drawn towards a safe haven? I don’t think so.
I do understand what you’re saying, though, and perhaps over the next decade or so, it might work for me. I do try to enjoy time with my kids, and if watching TV counts, W will stay in the room.
“Having fun” is an euphemism if you’re talking about S#2, though. I hate to say it, but it’s rare that W or I have fun with him. I love him to death, but he’s just not normally a fun person. We love him to pieces, but whenever he’s around, our house can never be a safe haven.
