andy, you are so strong. caring for a special needs child is such a challenge. i am a preschool teacher and have had special needs kids. i was exhausted with just my limited contact and i got to go home.
andy, it is not fate that will take care of you now. i don't know about your personal beliefs and i don't want to be preachy. i will say a prayer for you.
maybe right now you two don't have too much in common. but you say you have common goals. if your wife won't spend time alone with you right now, maybe the best thing you guys can do is take turns. she goes for her walk. you go for a rollerblade after.
maybe having a seperate away time would rejouvenate both of you and give you some more to talk about. your kids have many activities. what about limiting some of them and spending more family time. more relaxing time. it feels like you guys are burning out.
have you ever thought about moving closer to family? can you hire a babysitter who has RN or other special training? so everyone can get a break even if it is seperate.
i am sorry you are sad. i am sorry your w isn't reaching out to you. i think she may be missing a lot in her effort to show you she is strong and independant and doesn't place you on a pedastal anymore. i have been guilty of this. but i don't want to deny myself the good parts of my h just to prove my point.
