I know what you mean about the sad feelings. Today I just wanna cry.
When I got home from work yesterday, W was out for a walk. She didn't return until almost 8PM. I tried to strike up a conversation but couldn't. The kids had her engaged, and when I could get a word in edgewise, I had nothing to say.
We don’t have anything in common anymore. Yes, we share the same struggle to keep up with our family. This morning it was W who got up to change S#2, give him a bath, etc. But who wants to share the bad things?
When I feel bad/sad, I’m reticent to discuss it. Who wants all that negativity? The last thing I want to do is to drag her down. When I do discuss, W tries to cheer me up by telling me it’s not so bad, or by comparing her problems to mine, or even worse, by comparing other people’s problems to mine. That doesn’t help.
All of the suggestions I got here are great. The only problem is that right now, I need time with my W to actually do any of them. And right now, all she wants is to escape all of the turmoil. What she wants from me is to do whatever I can to allow her to escape.
Even if we were to get respite care, etc. it would only be a bandaid solution. Lets say we can get out for a dinner out. We’d have nothing to talk about, and when it’s over, we’d still have to go home.
We went to a concert (together, alone) about a month ago. It did nothing to bring us closer together.
I’m starting to think that I’ve done all I can except to accept my fate. Glad you think I’m helping you, Lisa, but I’m not so sure if I’ll stick around much longer.
Just feeling kinda done-in. I’m not much use to anyone right now.
