One of the ingredients for my "sauce" that worked for me is really kind of harsh, and might not be for everybody, but is what worked, and still works, for me.
It was the ability to be ready, willing, and able to walk away from the relationship at anytime, while still making it my "choice" to stay.
For me, in my sitch, this attitude was, and is, a matter of self-preservation, born out of desperation.
Harsh? Maybe. Is it for everybody? Doubt it. It did, however, take a hell of a lot of pressure off of both myself and my wife, helped me to take things less personally, and helped me to be stronger on my own, which helped to draw my wife back to me.
JJ
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