My W has known OM for about 4 years. During that time I was in the navy, and recently got discharged from a ship, where I served 2 1/2 years. I was deployed a lot during that time, and I only found out about her A last Nov. From what I gathered as proof, it started around last Aug, but I don't know for sure. My W has said OM was has always been interested in her, and he knew she was M. Once I found out about the A I wanted to work on our M (while still dealing with the hurt, crying, crowding her...). I told my W i still loved her, and was heart broken when I found out through another person. I couldn't believe any of it, and it was happening right under my nose. Before I found out, she started talking of D, and I was stunned. I had no clue about the A, but then I found out and it all made sense - she was "in love" with OM.
My first thought was to work on my M and to try to figure out where it went wrong. It hit me pretty hard. I confronted OM, and W, showed her proof (against all advice), and now I am taking each day slow, just seeing where our piecing will take us. Up until now I have shown my W that above all else, I am remaining by her side. I decided that if the worst happens, she will have to be the one to initiate a D or sep or whatever. The thing is that the OM is still in the picture, and I have had enough of it, so I'm taking a stand here, but it's for my M.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
