I think your H and my H are related! Gez I read that post and it was like I was standing in my own living room.

Your H needs reassurance, yes. When he sends messages like that, I think you did respond well, and the one above was more or less expected.

When you say things to H, don't worry if it is the "right" thing or HIS response to it. If you are genuine and honest in what you are saying, then say it to him.

For the last year I have been concerned about what I am saying, how I should word it, will it make things better or worse? It did not seem to matter how I tried to communicate things, it was always open to HIS interpretation and how HE wanted to see things. The "nice comments" would roll of his back and be ignored, and if I said something in frustration, he made sure to capitalize on it for months.

This is where I went wrong. I was always waiting for his reaction. I allowed his reaction to control how I felt about what I said.

Don't let HIS reaction control YOUR emotions and actions.

Hope I was clear in that explination (as you can see I am not very good at clear communication either )



Sigh: Thank you...you were very clear! I do worry about his reaction. Especially since his emotions seem to be escalating. Just when I think things are calming down, he's gearing himself up to a boiling point again. How are things now between you two?

Osu: There's venting....and then there's.....what? Emotional abuse? A person who has profusely apologized, acknowledged all of the wrong doing.....do they deserve to be verbally beaten down until they are a sobbing mess? There are days I feel like a dog crawling back to a mean master: hoping for a scrap, getting a kick and being grateful when there's a small nugget of a treat being handed along with the kick.

Sorry - just had a bad couple of days.