I am going to take a stab in the dark here. If you don't mind me asking, with your A's, was a main point for them because these men would "talk" and "listen to you? Did you tell your H that?
If so, that is what he is waiting for. He wants you to talk to him like you would talk to them. Do you see what I am saying? When you two do talk, and you tell him you love him and want to stay with him, and he says, that's what you want, have you tried asking him what he wants? Has he told you? You may not like the answer you get, so be prepared. Maybe to start the next conversation, say to him that you really appreciate him trying get past all of the hurt and stay in the marriage, that you admire his strength and that you are truly sorry for hurting him the way you did.
But you have to mean it and sound sincere.
Good Luck
Yes, the OM would listen to me and we'd discuss work. It was emotional for me. The physical response was because he was filling those needs. I tried to explain it to H, but he's insisting that I was just a tramp who dropped her pants at the first person that said I was pretty.
I do tell him that I love him and that I want this marriage to work (response - yeah, now....after you've been F***d every which way). And when I ask him what he wants it varies between: I want you to FIX it and I want a wife who doesn't screw around. I tell him that I'm not - that's not who I am or want to be (and again I get - yeah, now).
I try to remain patient - but I ended up screaming at him last night his tirade got too graphic for me and I didn't know how to shut him up.
