I had that same problem. My H ALWAYS wanted me to do the talking, and when I did at the beginning, it always turned bad, but as time went on, some conversations became constructive.
There will be times where you are repeating yourself, probably about 6 times in the same hour, and it is ok. He may be trying to see if you trip up and say something new.
Right now, he feeles he should not have to do ANYTHING to fix this marriage, it is all up to you, so when you don't talk, he thinks you are not trying.
I am going to take a stab in the dartk here. If you don't mind me asking, with your A's, was a main point for them because these men would "talk" and "listen to you? Did you tell your H that?
If so, that is what he is waiting for. He wants you to talk to him like you would talk to them. Do you see what I am saying? When you two do talk, and you tell him you love him and want to stay with him, and he says, that's what you want, have you tried asking him what he wants? Has he told you? You may not like the answer you get, so be prepared. Maybe to start the next conversation, say to him that you really appreciate him trying get past all of the hurt and stay in the marriage, that you admire his strength and that you are truly sorry for hurting him the way you did.
But you have to mean it and sound sincere.
Good Luck
Everytime I say anything to him - it comes out wrong, he takes it wrong or I feel like I'm just repeating myself.
And it does feel like half the time it's a test - his questions are: Do you miss OM? Aren't you wishing he was here to hold you?
Then comes the anger: You're a bad person, you treated me like S#!@, you should probably leave now - you are going to anyways...
I only hope we can get to a place where it's constructive.
