Dear Karen,

Thanks for the response. I read those same women's mags and sure I look at other women, but I actually used to think about an EA and PA. Now I just look.
I think my new sense of calm is accompanied by an improved self-confidence. I used to let all my fears be known by all members of the family. Consequently, my W accused me of being weak. I now am more judicious about spilling my guts, and my guts have less of a tendency to want to spill out. I've set more boundaries at work and with kids, and I am respected more for doing that.

I actually don't think that cheating on your spouse simply because one isn't gettin' any lovin' is part of the time worn rules of being (in my case) masculine. The model has been that the good husband just suck it up and do without. But I do think the new openness is a good thing. Think about the couples who endure long-term separation and return to some form of normalcy upon reuniting. They have been with us for a long time.