So what does it mean, if out of the blue, you recieve a warm fuzzy email from your walk away spouse, but then nothing?
The day before Thanksgiving, my H emailed after 2 months of no communication. He said he had a picture of me on his computer wallpaper (on the shore of Lake Michigan). He spoke fondly of our trip there. Said "we" a lot. He tells his friends "that's my wife" in the picture. Then wants to know if I am still his wife. I told him of course.
This was the first positive thing he had to say about us since he disappeared over 6 months ago.
But, to my frustration, the next email he sends is not warm and fuzzy @ all, but cold and uncaring. I suppose I did go a little overboard by talking about all the issues with the housing market after his warm and fuzzy email. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that. Hind sight is pretty clear.
How do you keep your comments in check? I mean I hadn't heard from him in 2 months. It felt like he was dead. The house went on the market and we all know what the housing market is like right now.
Even though in his old life, before he disappeared, he was a mortgage broker, he acted like he didn't have a clue about how awful the market is (I know he is on the east coast, so it's not like he doesn't have access to news). He told me he "didn't know what to say" about the market. But, he might as well have said "that's not my problem".
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
Quote: .....the house went on the market and we all know what the housing market is like right now....
But, the good news is, I can now afford the house I live in! Yahoo!! This has been my goal for the past several months. I got a huge raise @ work (like 40%) due to an out-of-town project. I am so happy.
Still can't afford the cabin, but I have renters there and I am talking to another potential renter that can pay more (to cover more of the mortgage).
I can breath a little bit easier now. I don't expect to get any more money from my wayward H. I am just sooo happy that I can afford the house!!! Of course, the raise is only temporary until the project is done, which will be 14 months down the road. But, right now I am celebrating.
This separation has been and continues to be a blessing in disguise. It has forced me to stretch and do things that I didn't have the desire to do before (or thought was out of my reach). Very nice.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
Your post is a bright light. Remember way back when - you first came on the bb and your focus was totally on him coming back and what was going on. And we told you to focus on YOU and that things would all work out.
And look at you - you are getting back the control you need, figuring it all out and finding out - your life is better than you ever expected and it is all a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we just have to trust.
I didn't come here to say "I told you so". But I did want to say how happy I am that you can afford your house, you have renters for the cabin and you got a fabulous raise.
Quote: .....Remember way back when - you first came on the bb and your focus was totally on him coming back and what was going on....And we told you to focus on YOU....
Yes, I remember. Thank you for your support and words of encourgement. I really appreciate it!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS to you too!!
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
