J
Honey are you OK?
You seem to be in a kaffufel about things.

Nobody is making you do anything you don't want to do.

You don't have to return to the marriage, you don't have to go to Alaska, and you don't have to eat your veggies.

You have come so far on this journey and only you can decide what is best for you and for your children.

Not everyone is in a place that they can just forget this ever happened and move on.
I know I am not there.

My choices are for me and I finally after years and years do not give a rats arse if everyone disagrees with me.

If my H flips out again, I already know I will not travel on this path again.

I am willing to give 100% to make this marriage work and to be the best wife I can be.

Because my H is also trying it seems more of a reality now rather then just a pipedream.

But only time will tell.

J, what do you want to do?
Not what people expect you to do.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.