Idon'tknow...I just can't get a grip on the whole "Schnarch" thing. just doesn't make any sense to me...too many apparent contradictions for my tiny little INTJ brain to handle. He seems to apply the same logic to explain opposite situations. On one page, he says, "just wear the stupid shirt. what's it gonna hurt?"...and then on the next, he says, "don't wear the shirt just because she asked you to...it makes you too much of a whimp". ok, well..which one is it? then there's this whole "validation" thing...some of that stance seems to conflict directly with some people's basic personalities. Those "meyers/briggs" personality types were mentioned there a few days back, and I did some reading...seems W is an INFP. They tend to need positive feedback/affirmation..."validation" from others. Or what about people who's Love language is "Words of Affirmation"? Seems that Schnarch would have them change their spots. Is that adviseable? or even possible?? Reminds me of the adage about never trying to teach a pig to sing. Its a waste of time, and it annoys the pig. oh, and as an INTJ, I can't tolerate illogical or inconsistant reasoning. makes my brain want to implode...if I can't understand it...(and I can't; each of his example couples stories, and eventually, how he applies his theories to their situations, "the answer" always comes as a complete surprise to me...If I can't predict the outcome, I don't understand it), then I can't apply it...then it is of no use to me, and is therefore discarded unceremoniously. Oh, and I'm always right. Which makes me somewhat of an a$$hole. No wonder my w won't have sex with me...I wouldn't either. This explains a whole lot more than Schnarch does.
