The steps in the attraction based mating dance never change. The steps that society puts in there to try to waylay it do.
if what you are doing involves touching any part of someone's body that normally has clothes on or involves any of their bodily fluids - it is sex. I realize that kids don't see it that way.
I think they do, or they wouldnt use code words and try to keep it on the 'down low'. They're just trying to rationalize and justify there emotional activities and see if you will buy into their reality. It worked for Bill. Teenagers have been fooling and fondling for aeons and will continue to do so. Females have been getting pregnant when they hit menses and will continue to do so.
First Corri then HP. Girls asking the boys out, eh. Well I guess that takes care of the boy-adolescent-anxiety aspect of the mating ritual, but it will never work out in the long run because women do not respect men that can't take charge
I guess my mother was first actually... Still spreading the disinformation. I always wondered if you mothers did this on purpose, because you knew it will kill the girls attraction. SABOTEURS!!! I remember how that went down when I believed my mother and went that route after she made me. Down in flames I tell you. <crash and burn> Man was I perplexed. HP. seriously. Think back to the beginning of your R. MmmHmmm. I remember you told us about it here.
Females will always make themselves available at the very least, (not that the guy will notice) and usually approach a man that displays the appropriate characteristics. They will often not know why they want to be in proximity, or dissemble the reason why to him. Girls at this age are typically way ahead, socially and reproductively, then the boys. With the exception of Cemar, women are way more preoccupied with sex.
Oh noooooooooooo I'll get to worry about which guy they are thinking of offering oral sex since it doesn't "count".
according to the surveys sexual intercourse is down in the lower age groups. So are STD's. However, the older age groups (over 45?, 50?) STD's are way up. The herpes epidemic has been making the rounds at several college campuses according to recent newletters, however. In my estimation, the fact that BJ's are being given out like lollipops in the ~26 and unders is a way to appease the guy, while avoiding sex and the girl retaining her power. It seems to be almost a reflex action once a sexual situation starts.
MandDks I desperately wanted to get close to some girls, but I was deathly afraid that they would find out. Duh, they all knew! A large part of the dating game is creative dishonesty. Flattery is almost never purely factually accurate
Im curious what you mean by creative dishonesty. I am brutally honest, but I also like to 'play', just because its fun for me. Its not really necessary once your able to demonstrate certain attributes, and your boundaries are in tact. I was going to give an example of what I thought you meant, but Id rather get one from you. You may want to try using another word instead of an emotionally negative one (dishonest). The words we use affect how we see the world and react to it.
The steps in the attraction based mating dance never change. The steps that society puts in there to try to waylay it do.
if what you are doing involves touching any part of someone's body that normally has clothes on or involves any of their bodily fluids - it is sex. I realize that kids don't see it that way.
I think they do, or they wouldnt use code words and try to keep it on the 'down low'. They're just trying to rationalize and justify there emotional activities and see if you will buy into their reality. It worked for Bill. Teenagers have been fooling and fondling for aeons and will continue to do so. Females have been getting pregnant when they hit menses and will continue to do so.
First Corri then HP. Girls asking the boys out, eh. Well I guess that takes care of the boy-adolescent-anxiety aspect of the mating ritual, but it will never work out in the long run because women do not respect men that can't take charge
I guess my mother was first actually... Still spreading the disinformation. I always wondered if you mothers did this on purpose, because you knew it will kill the girls attraction. SABOTEURS!!! I remember how that went down when I believed my mother and went that route after she made me. Down in flames I tell you. <crash and burn> Man was I perplexed. HP. seriously. Think back to the beginning of your R. MmmHmmm. I remember you told us about it here.
Females will always make themselves available at the very least, (not that the guy will notice) and usually approach a man that displays the appropriate characteristics. They will often not know why they want to be in proximity, or dissemble the reason why to him. Girls at this age are typically way ahead, socially and reproductively, then the boys. With the exception of Cemar, women are way more preoccupied with sex.
Oh noooooooooooo I'll get to worry about which guy they are thinking of offering oral sex since it doesn't "count".
according to the surveys sexual intercourse is down in the lower age groups. So are STD's. However, the older age groups (over 45?, 50?) STD's are way up. The herpes epidemic has been making the rounds at several college campuses according to recent newletters, however. In my estimation, the fact that BJ's are being given out like lollipops in the ~26 and unders is a way to appease the guy, while avoiding sex and the girl retaining her power. It seems to be almost a reflex action once a sexual situation starts.
MandDks I desperately wanted to get close to some girls, but I was deathly afraid that they would find out. Duh, they all knew! A large part of the dating game is creative dishonesty. Flattery is almost never purely factually accurate
Im curious what you mean by creative dishonesty. I am brutally honest, but I also like to 'play', just because its fun for me. Its not really necessary once your able to demonstrate certain attributes, and your boundaries are in tact. I was going to give an example of what I thought you meant, but Id rather get one from you. You may want to try using another word instead of an emotionally negative one (dishonest). The words we use affect how we see the world and react to it.
The mating dance begins with the girls and that will never change.
I suppose I object to the current setup where young dudes are learning to sit back and be passive and let the female world come to them. They need to at least know HOW to interact in a way that jives with their biological setup.
You see, I have this friend who was super aggressive with this guy she had her eye on...she asked him out, etc. It set up a dynamic from the very first date of her being in charge and him being along for the ride--even though it was a ride he wanted to be on. Eventually, they married and had 3 daughters and they were locked in this dynamic that didn't really satisfy either one of them. The guy had spent his whole life letting himself be 'chased' instead of chasing and didn't know how to tap into this side of his masculinity. The wife, well, she was just a freakin mess, lol. Had no idea how to be feminine in a way that appealed to men--she had just always counted on her sexuality.
Anyway, enough about them.
Just wanted to say that I agree with you that young girls have always chased boys but the boys need to know how to chase back.
P.S. Sorry for the crash and burn. It did make me laugh, though, sadistic female that I am.
Thank you very much for your input. Very much. That helps me a great deal as all this stuff churns in my Corri mind. But just so you all know... I'm not OVER thinking this, or fretting...
Honey:
I absolutely agree with you. Absolutely. I agree with bf, certainly, but I am with you on a woman being TOO assertive. BF, Deida discusses this in his book... on what happens when a man is too passive and a woman has to become more assertive... and it DOES throw off the chemistry of the R. Now... it isn't a problem if it is well-balanced within the R (a man showing F traits and a woman showing M traits)... but there are many times when this DOES get out of balance... and what happens then, our HP is very, very well aware of.
Have you read the Deida book, HP? If you haven't, I'd bet you'd find it really interesting, just for your own knowledge.
I know that I would enjoy it and have a hard time keeping my yap shut. When I read 'Wild at Heart' I kept saying, Oh H you gotta read this, it's so interesting.. which of course had the result of him scoffing at it and refusing to look at it. Why is it, with human nature, that we resist something if people are too enthusiastic about it? (or is that unique to H and I, lol)
I need to find a way to read it on the sly, I guess.
