Based on my experience with my D15 and her friends, I would say that in middle school it isn't unusual for the girls to take the lead. Once the girls enter high school, the older guys ask them out. Though a lot of co-ed group activities occur also, as Cobra indicated. Kids these days receive a ton of sexual information due to the Aids epidemic. When I recently touched base with my daughter, she informed me that all her friends who are sexually active know where the clinic is in a nearby college town where they can get whatever birth control or services they might need for free. As you indicated, I believe that there is much more acceptance of oral sex and also same sex experimentation amongst girls than when we were young, probably because these activities are viewed as being "safer". I should note that I live in a small midwestern town and my daughter and most of her friends are popular, straight-A, involved in artistic extracuriculer activities, most likely to be accepted to the best colleges type kids.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
