Hi GH,

Thanks I was wondering from you W's point of view maybe? I too could say that my attraction to J has never waned, which is why this has been confusing! We're a little different than some of the piecers in that J and I have both been the WAS during the last two years. I asked him to leave due to his destructive behavior, immediately regreted it and begged him to come back home. He refused and quickly found OW. When he did come home, I thought things would be better and totally failed to piece and asked him to leave again. This time he was the one who wanted to reconcile while I wasn't able to get past my anger. So.. we've both thrown in the towel, and I can identify with a WAS as much as a LBS much of the time.

I was thinking about your sitch and how things were going great. Communication was rocking and the physical R was picking up too, then it slowed again with your W making comments that she didnt think you've changed. It often helps me along the way to consider if something is typical to others who are piecing. It just makes it easier to believe this is a process and can keep moving forward through the difficulties. I was considering whether my reaction to our increased intimacy was kinda like your W's reaction to the improvements. I've had serious commitment issues in our R also and seem to run when things are bad, or things are extremely good. I'm conquering that demon though! I've pulled away some, but am determined to not let my fears convince me to find reasons it wont work.

I was wondering for you too.. if your W's reactions were more of her problem and not so much that you backslid a little. Not that you'd keep from getting back on track where you've let up a little, but maybe for you to consider that a S pulling away when things are going great might come from their own fears.. whatever they might be. For me it's def a fear of intimacy and J seeing how very flawed I am.. and fear of getting in deep again and being hurt.


Thanks GH

Sheila