Hi Believing Yes, the issues are nit picky, so I haven't said anything about the examples I gave. The goal isn't for me to be right, but to find a way to communicate on general issues without nagging or nit-picking because I agree, it's annoying! I did feel awful when I asked him to not say those words in front of the kids, because it was something a mother would do, and I don't wanna be my H's mom.

I think I was looking for advice from piecers who've found a way to address practial issues of everyday life and do it positively. We have to be on the same sheet of music raising our children. I don't think using foul language and making crude references in front of them is a small issue, but even that's not entirely what I'm getting at. I've had a real problem with being controlling and mothering with J. So now I'm trying to not swing the other way and sweep things under the carpet when they need to be addressed just because I'm paranoid that he'll interpret it as controlling. Shouldnt there be a happy medium in a partnership at some point? These aren't deal breakers for me, so there's time to see what evolves and what creates a positive. Was looking for suggestions from the board on how to not set out with the goal to be right, but to create change.

I dunno, things are going great for us right now. It might be time to stop posting. I'm sure you're not the only one who read my post and think I'm complaining about a small thing when others are struggling to save their M. I've been there and know how hard that is. I'd like to continue to take positive steps to create a great R, not stop at being content that we're together. We still have so many issues and backslides are inevitable, but for the most part, I guess we're "pieced"

Merry Christmas All!!

Sheila