Hey Bud Glad you stopped by and left some food for thought. You have good points as usual and I'll re-read and think it through. I think what I was getting at by not saying much to J about my feeling blue is that I'm learning to detach in a way that I can be sad without laying it at his feet because he hasn't fixed it, or something about the R disappoints me. I did tell him that I'm blue and was feeling bad because I'm realizing this is a long term struggle. I think he comforted me when I told him that. So, on that point, it was more of a matter of him being truthful about what he could give and me processing it and feeling real emotions without blaming and running away from the R.
OTOH, you're right in that I protect him at times instead of stating my feelings. I'm getting better at that, and am trying to state MY feelings without blaming him or feeling that he's responsible for them, because he isnt. Although, I have to admit, I've went the other way too, so I have to be careful or I will end up blaming or demanding that he change something. Growth in progress, but I feel good about it so far.
You know me pretty well Bud.. I need to pay attention to what I say, that I say it appropriately and at the right time with thought beforehand. I don't plan to hide things or protect J, but I do want to be considerate when he says he has more than he can personally deal with at the moment, and I'd like to make sure I'm communicating what I'm feeling honestly and taking responsibility for that rather than dumping my feelings at his feet.
More later.. I do need to be watchful of so much, but still I can't be paranoid of saying the wrong things either! He IS a grown man
I'm glad you posted.. I always look forward to your insight!
Glad you stopped by and left some food for thought. You have good points as usual and I'll re-read and think it through. I think what I was getting at by not saying much to J about my feeling blue is that I'm learning to detach in a way that I can be sad without laying it at his feet because he hasn't fixed it, or something about the R disappoints me. I did tell him that I'm blue and was feeling bad because I'm realizing this is a long term struggle. I think he comforted me when I told him that. So, on that point, it was more of a matter of him being truthful about what he could give and me processing it and feeling real emotions without blaming and running away from the R.
