Exactly. I'd love to learn how to change that dynamic. Someone suggested a book - "Getting to I Do" It's supposed to be about the dynamics of passivity and control in an R. I ordered it, but it got lost in the mail. Need to try again.
He grew up with a mother that handled everything and she still does for his Dad. She demanded that type of control over her household. I don't need that! J has said that I do and I can see where that comes from, but honestly, I don't gripe about "how" he does things.. I'd just like him to do more - hence, I wanna control him because I tell him what he needs to be doing for us.
I read a bible study at 4:30 this morning.. worrying about changing what I'm communicating. It basically suggested that for 30 days make a pact to not say one negative thing about your H to him or anyone, but pick one positive thing every day. Negative for me would be making motherly statements too, like "you should park over there", "have you made a C appt yet?" "pick up your clothes and take them to the laundry", etc I do say things to him like I say to the kids. Yesterday he asked me where I wanted him to put the yogurt while we were putting away groceries! WTF? I have no idea where yogurt should go, nor do I care, but evidently I'm the authority and he asks so he can please me by doing the right thing.
