Hopefully I remember everything I was going to talk about.
On the calcium, I would also say that the prevacid probably has something to do with your calcium absorption. Eating yogurt can help with calcium and with heartburn. Also, if your drinking soda, that will make heartburn worse (I'm pretty sure).
Congrats on all those compliments! That is awesome! I wish I had those too!
Regarding your statement about wondering why he can't figure things at home if it's not about you. I don't want to sound harsh, but right now IMHO he thinks he does not love you. not because it's you, but because he's lost it somehow. Or maybe he didn't have it before, he just doesn't know. So if he "leaves" you, separates from you, then this will help him answer his question "Do I still love her?".
But you are becoming such a great, beautiful, fun, strong person that I know he will answer that question with a big :"YES!".
OOh, and believe me, there were several times when my H was being nice to me, as yours with you holding your hand in bed, and the sadness just overwhelmed me and I couldn't help but cry. So I know what your going thru. I don't know how else to help you thru it except what you already know: detatch. Julie is right. It is hard, and don't worry about thinking you will want to give up your M. You want to do the right thing, you won't give up. Sure, you will question yourself later, is this what I really want? But that is normal.
Hang in there Nikki. You've come a long way.
Maybe even acting "as if" about the S, that you know that you guys will be back together after the S is over. Maybe that would help you for now?
Oh. maybe talk to the C about your H being in Depression. he seems to put himself down a lot. and if you are constantly upbeat around him, that might make things worse- have you seen any connection with that? Just curious.
Did you ever get the DR book? you do need to read that one instead.
About the religious thing. I don't think you can just become religious, it is something that grows. When you find Jesus, and truely know he is your saviour, you seek out others and you can fellowship with them, learning more about God and reading Jesus' words in the bible, and that brings you closer to God, and "religious" as you say. But I really do believe, that having that type of relationship with the Lord makes a huge difference. Just MHO
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
