Quote: Especially when I don't really understand the purpose of this separation... particularly now that H is saying it has nothing to do with me. If it's not "me," why can't he work it out while he's here, you know?? I don't ask him that, it just eats away at me.
Just remember that it doesn't have to do w/ you and don't let it eat you up. He needs space and by getting out of the house, he is going to feel less pressure. This is a good thing, Nikki.
Quote: I have some questions I want to ask really badly, like did he change his mind on having kids, can he get past my physical strength issues, etc. but it seems like the wrong time. I just want him to know that I'm open to talking about those things if he decides to work things out...
Once again, I think the important thing here is to do the listening and validating. Don't ask these questions b/c right now whatever answer he gives won't matter. When he does work thru his crap, he will be able to handle these things, but for now, don't give him more reasons to hold out.
You can do this. You can be strong. It's ok to be upset and just reread the DR books so you can be maximizing your interactions. You have to really back off here, Nikki. He's beating himself up so don't do anything to make him turn that onto being your fault. Let him have his space. Don't tell him your needs or wants right now. He needs to figure out how to get his next breath before he can take care of you. Listen, listen, validate and listen. You need to really make this detachment happen right away so you don't backslide. Make him want to be with you.
Prayers for you, girl. You can do this. I see a lot of positives so start DBing to beat the band so that those positives can be capitalized on. Julie
