I hope you’re right I can help my bro out too. The one big difference there is they are both very committed to making it work right now, so they’re in the fight together. A much better time to get to them, that’s for sure. “January out of nowhere” just meant give it to them as a gift for no reason in January, as opposed to a Christmas gift (sorry I know that was vague!). I just thought it might make a kind of strange Christmas gift. Although I’ll tell ya what, from here on out it will be my standard wedding gift for newlyweds!!
Yeah I am totally excited about the kayaking. They said you can get right up next to otters and stuff. So fun!! I have a number of big GAL goals for the summer, so starting in January I’m going to work on smaller goals that will help me reach them. I decided to give myself a break and just STOP with all but the essentials for this week. I’m slowly losing my mind trying to DB, do Christmas, etc. Goal for this week is 1. survive Christmas and 2. try to enjoy most of it.
About H”s rudeness – I think it’s one of two things. One is he was at OW’s house and didn’t want me to know (which sort of explains him “accusing” me of being at a bar), or two is that he’s trying to treat me badly so that the separation is easier on me (or even make me want to be the one to move, who knows). It seems when he’s leaning towards staying he becomes relatively relaxed, pleasant, and nice to me. When he leans towards moving out he gets anxious, moody, and just plain nasty to be around. It’s just a guess…trying not to spend too much time worrying about it since it doesn’t really matter.
On the diet thing – most days I’m eating quite a bit healthier now. I get at least 3 meals of some sort (sometimes 1-2 meals are just a protein shake, but it’s something) and take some good vitamins. The acid reflux is mostly from muscle damage, back to my childhood illness again – but it’s definitely better when I’m thinner so I am hopeful that losing weight will help with that. I do think my calories are pretty low and I’m also not drinking enough water, so that probably contributed.
The doc said a lot of the same things you did about the meds. She said “they’ll take away 50% of the problem, so that you have the mental and emotional energy to deal with the other 50% with the IC.” My goal is not to be on them long term though, and she’ll only prescribe them in conjunction with counseling (which I really respect, I’ve always been very upset w/my Mom’s doc for prescribing it without her getting any help). She and the MC have both said this will be hard no matter what, but they think I will do so much better with the extra help for now. I broke down a bit in her office and she said that without them, she is very concerned that I’m going to crash very, very hard physically and mentally. She said I’m way too good at burying my emotion and appearing ok. She said just from what she knows of me and my history I’m the “type” of depressed person that might just end up going to bed for 6 months. It’s happened in my family… and I figure I better fight it NOW while I have some strength rather than let it get worse first.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
