NikkiB's new thread, new life

[NikB]

Oh my... I'll reply to everyone later but I just had to post this for now. I just got back from the ER.. taken by ambulance. Halfway through my pampering haircut, my hands started to cramp up to where I couldn't really move them. Then it spread to my arms, and even my face muscles were twitching. I got dizzy and around then told the hair guy "Something's wrong!" Within 5 more minutes my upper body was so cramped up I was "hugging" myself, nails dug hard into my arms, etc. They asked if they should call H or 911 - I said 911 first because I felt like I'd pass out. I didn't pass out, although everything's pretty foggy. H and the ambulance arrived almost the same time.

They had no idea what was up.. normal blood sugar, normal everything. But I was so "locked up" I couldn't move my hands or talk very clearly. It looked/felt like a stroke or something. They couldn't pull my arms away from my body enough to put the seatbelts on, that's how cramped up I was.

Guess what it all was? Anxiety attack. Specifically, apparently I was hyperventilating without even REALIZING it, to the point where my CO2 and potassium levels dropped and I had severe muscle spasms.

I honestly felt pretty relaxed today, looking forward to my appointments, smiling, was making small talk w/the hair guy when it started. I guess that doesn't matter, if it's brewing in the background.

I am SO upset that H saw me like this... he was really great and said "No matter WHAT happens, anything that requires an ambulance ride will ALWAYS require a call to me!" But to have him there with me in the hospital, again, probably reliving the million reasons I'm a mess... ugh ugh ugh it just hurt.

I told him I wanted him to understand this MY responsibility to learn to deal with this. He said he understood that but we'll see.. he's acting very guilty tonight. We both kept waiting for the blood results to show something other than "she freaked out" but nothing did. <sigh>

They gave me some kind of anxiety drug tonight and to get me through the weekend til I can see my doc, and some instructions on how to spot the early warning signs.

Will post more tomorrow.. I'm so tired right now.