NikkiB's new thread, new life

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I actually think it would have been a nice gesture(to bring in a cake), but it might be good that you didn't get the opportunity, it might have made him feel awkward. You showed him your appreciation by making him one at home, so that was good.

Let me tell you, in regards to having nothing to say. I had this so many times. I already knew that my H and I don't have a whole lot in common, and all during our time together I never felt like we had the connection we should have had. I would hear him crack up laughing with old highschool friends, and he would never do that with me. or I with him for that matter. So when this OW was someone that he went to highschool with, and everyone knows her too, all I could think of was what little I had to say to him, and all the things that they were talking about... old times, old friends, their previous R together before me, how much he hated being with me, blah blah. You just have to get past all that. And you know what? Men don't need to talk like women do. Most men that is. If there is silence, it's okay. I've learned that silence can also mean comfort. You don't have to feel awkward.

I too, slept on the couch several nights after getting up from the bed because I just wanted to bawl all night. Unlike OT, I never did want him to know. I think maybe one time I said I was struggling with what was going on and just needed to sleep alone that night.

I think it was good that your H said he wished you'd stayed in bed.

I know your smart enough to know that we've all been thru it, cuz you said yourself "I know, I know, no news to you guys but it’s like the emotion finally caught up to the logic.", but you just have to accept that you will have these emotions. It's okay. It's okay to hurt. what's not okay, is if you let these feelings drag you down. Remember, feelings don't last forever.

And even if you think that your H doesn't love you, I really think that you are wrong. He just feels stuck right now, and he thinks it's because of you. He will find out soon enough, that it wasn't because of you, and it is his choice to get unstuck. You just have to be patient for that time to come to pass.

OT had an insightful post too.