NikkiB's new thread, new life

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I think that sounds like a reasonable plan, to use the gift as an excuse.

I just want you to be prepared in case he just happens to see it. Is he the type to be snoopy? My H wasn't, but somehow he was able to pull up this website and found my first thread. In a way it actually turned for good, but there were somethings he found out about that really made him mad.

So, like stoic said, think that's who said it, I'm so bad at remembering names!!! know your options, if he finds it, or if you tell him, or don't or whatever. The bad thing will be if you don't tell him and he finds out and never tells you. That's what my H was going to do with the info he found on this site, never tell me. But luckily I could tell something upset him, so I urged him to tell me.

Also, during my H's A and probably a month into my DBing, maybe it was before, but I had recently accepted the fact that he wanted to end our marriage. I brought up at dinner some question about how we would have to sell everything. Then he even questioned himself outloud wondering how we would do it, or who would get what, and I told him, well I already talked to a lawyer and whatever we got after the marriage is all 50/50. He didn't respond, and I don't think anything negative came out of it. But then again, he knew that I had finally accepted he wanted out and I had stopped "chasing" him.

You are your best judgement, so do what you think is best for your sitch. Every H is going to react differently, and you know you H best, although very sporatically, but still.

IMHO I would go ahead with your gift plan, and then when you get it in the mail, see if it has anything on the outside that looks suspicious or just plain obvious to what you enrolled in. If you truely know that he never saw it, I would take it to your work and leave it there and never mention it. However, if it was possible that he could have seen it and he would have a slight idea of what it was, then it might be a good idea to bring it up in the "As If" scenerio I mentioned before.

but that's just my opinion.

p.s. this holiday season will be tough, but you can do it. Your going to have all sorts of emotions pop up at you, but stay strong and detach, lovingly.