NikkiB's new thread, new life

[NikB]

Hi Oldtimer, thanks for your perspective.

I understand what you're saying, but I think our lives are more involved with each other than you realize right now (I know that may not be the case in a month or two though and will respect H’s wishes if he leaves). We're living together, discussing finances, bills, major purchases, retirement plans, etc. with each other. Usually these conversations are initiated by him– the only thing I’m pursuing is the house refi. At the moment we’re operating more like a H-W or maybe more like business partners on those kinds of things. But I do think you’re right he doesn’t need to know about it and there are a lot of good reasons not to bring it up.

I really appreciate the reminders not to push. It’s amazing how that stuff creeps in even when I’m trying not to let it! I did sign up because it's the best choice for ME, and you're right I need to stop thinking about the "how will H react" part

H gets home before me and usually gets the mail, so there's a reasonable chance he'll see the packet. I am hoping they mail it in a nondescript envelope. I wish I could have had it mailed somewhere else actually. I didn't know they were sending me anything until after I enrolled - the final confirm screen said something like "Thank you, please watch your mail for an information packet containing the details of your plan." Arrrrrrgh!! I called to see if they could send it to an alternate address but they said it’s too late.

Ellie - thanks for your additional post. I definitely see your point and don’t want to trigger anything. I’m not comfortable lying but will do my best to avoid him finding out about it. I won’t mention it unless he says something about it or it’s obvious to me that he saw the info packet (i.e. he leaves it out by my purse or something). If he does, I’ll be prepared to focus on the estate, POA, etc. side of it like Stilltryin suggested (thanks again!). It IS a good deal for those things too.

Maybe I can just ask him to stop getting the mail for awhile - tell him a gift is being shipped and I don’t want to ruin the surprise or something. Hmm.