Don't tell him because it isn't any of his business. You don't know what my benefits are, it isn't any of your business. You are no longer operating as H-W, it really isn't of his concern. It is not a requirement that you show people you are at best, dating, your financial portfolio. Rather, your personal business choices are for you. Telling him now will merely complicate things.
Something you said raised a red flag. You should be be making the decision to take the benefit for yourself because it makes sense for you.
Quote: I think it might be a wake up call for him
Do NOT use this to try to make him see the light. Indeed, do not take any actions to try to make him see the light. LET GO. Quit figuring out how your choices will affect him and make choices based on what will work for you.
The information about YOUR benefits will become relevant IF you decide to share the benefit with him if you D or IF you reconcile. Until then, it is a private business matter. Trust me, H is not sharing all his financial decisions with you, certainly not one involving how he is spending $30 a month.
If you push when H doesn't know what he wants, you will get a response that you don't want. He will err on the side of leaving if anything. Trying to influence him by throwing lawyers in his face is very pushy. Also, it will get him combative, which businesswise is not a good stragegy.
The best way for him to get a wake up call is for it to be of his own making. If he leaves, then quit acting like you are in an H-W R with him as much as possible. That is what he wants. Respect his wishes and give it to him. This doesn't require having an A yourself, but it does require really letting go.
