NikkiB's new thread, new life

[NikB]

There, that’s better… prior threads are in my sig.

Stoic – thank you very much for sharing your experience, it’s definitely relevant! I didn’t feel you were pushing a certain position, just opening my eyes to a possibility.

About the denial – you know, I AM actually closer to your second phrase and I like it. Thanks for sharing it. I fully admit that “This is not happening to me” creeps in a lot. If H follows through with moving I can already feel there’ll be a lot of that at first… but, I will get through whatever comes.

You make a good point about not focusing too much on the negative too. I can tend to get obsessed with that side of things.

I am wondering if it would be smart to meet briefly with a lawyer. I didn’t realize that decisions now could impact things so much later, and I am not in a good decision making frame of mind right now. I can get a free 2 hour consultation through my work which should be more than enough to ask my legal questions, I think. I don’t want to over react but I don’t want to be dumb either. And my H is talking about moving out and leaving me, after all (ugh ugh ugh, I haven’t totally accepted it yet).

I agree, Oldtimer’s insights have been awesome – thank you Oldtimer for checking in on me!! I will catch up on your posts and a lot of everyone’s older posts this weekend.

Along with that I plan to Christmas shop, decorate the house, and put up some new pictures in the hall…some “ME” things I’m doing. I felt myself getting ready to mope or cry or whatever so I made a list of about 20 possible things to help me snap out of it.

As always thoughts are still welcome on any of my prior posts and I thank all of you so much for your caring, insights, and following my story.

Tonight I got H’s birthday present (BD is next week, what timing huh?). I debated on whether to do our usual “tease” or not and decided to. Called from the store and said “Guess where I am? Getting your way cool birthday present.” He responded just like my old H would have – “Oh yeah, what is it? C’mon, you KNOW you want to tell me.” in a really funny tone. I said “youuuuu’llll see” and hung up. Hey, it’s small, but it was great. He ended up coming home instead of going to his buddy’s house just because of that call.

And you guys’ll be proud – I was sooo tempted to overspend like an idiot, “show” him how much I love him through money. But I didn’t. I got him a gift I know he’ll like and appreciate, but spent a reasonable amount on it. It’s nothing sentimental or particularly “me” related, just something hobby related I know he’ll like. Everyone was totally nice to me in the store too, it’s auto related and usually everyone in this place is rude (I dreaded having to go!). I met 3 really nice customers and the most helpful customer service/parts person I think I’ve ever talked to.