You have been here a long time. You seem to want to not detach from your situation, you are allowing your husband to say mean things to you, you are not withdrawing as is necessary for anything good to come from this.
So you are stuck, by your own choice it seems.
Are you happy with that? Or would you rather work on what you can change, all by yourself? How about focusing on you for a while? Doing what you want and need in life to be a better person? Why not? What have you got to lose?
